I want that moment. That moment where I feel like everything is over and nothing is right; when I feel like I can’t go any further and I can’t go back and I’m just stuck in a horrifying limbo where light ends and all I can do is walk in circles without even seeing where I’m going; that moment where all I can do is sink to my knees and block out the world, not even crying, just sitting, because the tears ran out in the beginning and now they have no use. I want to be sitting under some tree on a grassy hill or next to a lake where the wind grabs my hair and pulls strands around my face or even on the side walk somewhere with the rain soaking my back and my feet deep in the puddle in front of me. I want that moment where you are positive you lost me, whether it’s because you said something stupid or I caught you at the worst moment ever and ran away or because you thought someone had hurt me or some guy came and stole me. I want moment, not because I like pain, but because I want that moment where you walk in front of me in the rain with an umbrella or where you run up the grassy hill or when you move my hair from my face and block the wind with your body. I want that moment where I know you can’t live without me, where I can look into your face and see that you thought I was gone, and you were scared to the depth of your soul and never want it to happen again. I want that moment where I know I’m safe as long as you’re with me and that you will never let me go, even though I’m not going anywhere. I want that moment where I know you love me.
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