Light

I took that picture long ago
When my eyes still held the light.
The light that sang of happiness
And of pure delight.

Now the only way they shine
Is with unspilled rain.
The water moans of remorse
And of constant pain.

Remember or Forget

I don't want to remember
But I don't know how to forget.
Maybe I really do deserve
To always feel like shit.

Dear Friend,

Pain, old friend,
(Or I thought you as such)
I am quite surprised,
For I haven't seen you much.

In this time
You've changed somehow
Always a bitter friend,
I like you much less now.

I do confess
(With a bit of pity)
That I wish
You would not visit me.

Though I resign
And I understand
That it is my heart
That you call homeland.

Just one rule
(That I wish you would follow)
Please keep from my friends
With all of your sorrow.

Now I bid you ado,
(Though I know you will remain)
So that I may sleep
Before the fiery rain.

Always yours,
To my dying day,
Your weary friend,
J

Why?

Why can't you hate me?
I really wish you would.
I know you don't think it,
But you really should.

All of you should hate me.
Friends, family, strangers.
When you hear my name,
You should think, "Danger!"

Why don't you hate me?
It really makes me blue.
Because if you'd just hate me,
Then I wouldn't have to.

Tomorrow

I don't want to sleep
Because when I wake
I'll see that tomorrow has come.

I wish I could make
The night last forever
The cold just makes me numb.

How Many?

How many people ever died,
Because of my harm?

How many people ever cried,
When they needed my arm?

How many people held their breath,
When I was using my charm?

How many people didn't try,
Because all I do is alarm?

Strength

There is strength in numbers.
There is strength in power.
There is strength in mind
And there is strength in hour

There is strength in body.
There is strength in heart.
And it is strength in spirit
That sets us apart.

There is strength in water.
There is strength in rain.
There is strength in joy
And there is strength in pain.

There is strength in truth.
There is strength in lies.
But it is strength of first
That makes us rise.

Writers

A writer takes many liberties
With some points that may be key.
Like instead of writing infatuation,
One writes love and disregards diction
Or describing snow as perfectly white,
Which we know may not be right.
Even thought we seem to lie,
You'll never see our art die.

Not Used to This

I'm not used to,
Not used to you
Not used to being helped through
The darkest weather all day and night,
What's a maid to do when she has a knight?

Warmth

I hadn’t thought about you in so long.

I thought I was moving on.

But then I got cold

And found myself holding your jacket.

I forgot to give it back.

I haven’t moved on at all.

I just ignore the thoughts.

I broke

I cried

Darkening spots on the black fabric.

I couldn’t stop because all I could hear was,

            “I’ll warm you up, Witchy.”

Gender and the Such

So, life is getting pretty interesting right now. But that's enough of personal stuff. I want to rant a little bit about something most people think is basic:

GENDER!

Alright, so, I don't think gender exists. I know what you're thinking, "Whhhaaattt? But J, you have to classify me as something! The world needs gender!"

Nope. Not at all. Sure, the world needed gender, at one point in time, but not now. Not in the least.

Sure, gender is great for decorating the house in one of two lovely colours dictated to represent the sex of your newborn child, but it should not be a classifier. 

I was lucky. I grew up not caring about gender categories. I also never deviated too far from the "girl" side of life, which was just how I was. Would I have grown up under scrutiny if I had decided to play with trucks and chop all of my hair off? Would  I have become girly, regardless, if only to satisfy those looking down on me?

The sad answer is, probably. But why? Why do we decide that girls like Barbies and boys like Legos? 

What's worse than setting limits on what someone can do, is that we look down, as a society, on people who deviate these things. The trans*, the androgyne, the pangender, the cisgender, the agender, the bigender, and the trigender, and everything else in between. There is such a large realm of possibilities when it comes to gender; why do we put such an emphasis on it? Why can't we just live at let live?

Why, in this day and age, do we still look at gender as some sort of important factor?

I Am Not a Robot

I am not a robot,

Not anymore.

I once was a child of metal

Colder on the inside than out,

You pointed it out to me

In one of our rare arguments.

It hurt me

More than anything said before.

I am no longer a robot

But you’re not here to see.

The Word

A word you said,

My dearest name,

Turn tainted in her mouth.

The witch’s apple,

Laertes’ sword,

All through her lips turned.

Words once so valuable uttered around your teeth,

Turned so putrid hissed through her fangs.

And with it

My love.

I Forgot

It happened today.

I knew it would.

I forgot for a moment.

I forgot that you hurt me.

I forgot that it hurts to look at you

Or think about you

Or be near you.

I forgot how much I miss you

And I spoke to you.

Then it all came back,

But now it’s so much worse.

Killer of Who?

I feel like time just slowed

Like it isn’t moving right

I wonder if I’ll make it

To see day turn to night.

I don’t know why I’m like this

Never quite there

Like when you talk

I just can’t seem to care.

They say stress is a killer

Breaking all things inside

I’ve just run out of pills

And there is nowhere to hide.